clay got his haircut the day and asked if "mooses" went to get their hair cut at a moose hair cutting place in the woods, where they live. then he told me he was glad he didn't live in the woods because his friend dougie didn't live in the woods.
"oh, i said -- where does dougie live?" i was thinking he was going to say, in town, on a farm, etc...
"in america," he said very seriously.
"oh," i told him. "america is a pretty big place. there are woods in america, you know. you both live in america. do you know where else you both live?"
"where?" he said.
"in ohio," i told him, going on to remind him that ohio and wisconsin (where we came from before) were both states, and that these were both a country.
"america!" clay remembered.
then i asked him if he remembered what country his granddad lives in.
"england!" he said, then went on to explain, "that's where all the soccer games are played -- its on t.v," (as if that settled it)
"well, they play soccer here, too."
"no," he said knowledgeably, "they play basketball, baseball and football in america. they only play soccer in england."
sorry rugby and cricket players. lol
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
happy valentine's
so, the other night, after working til 11pm, i drove home, only to discover that our driveway now resembled a glacier. the melting snow had transformed into a sheet of ice, and our van, which had been parked at the bottom of the driveway, had slid on the ice and was now parked sideways, and also blocking the driveway.
so, after uttering a few choice words, i stepped out of the car and onto the skating rink that had taken over our driveway, flailing madly as i not to lose my balance. i had to walk like a penguin so that i could get up the ice, and finally made it to the van, where i attempted to move it.
the van moved, but not where i was intended for it to go; sliding further down the hill and landing halfway in the drive and halfway in the snow. when i attempted to full forward, the tires spun wildly and the car became even further wedged in the snow. right.
so, i got the brilliant idea that maybe i could turn my wheels and back up, and go back onto the drive. unfortunately, gravity prevailed, and as i was on an incline, this theory did not work. in fact, it failed spectacularly.
now, the back end of the van was hovering precariously over the ditch, and the driver's door was firmly held in place by a stupid shrub. no amount of coaxing (or pounding the steering wheel in frustration) could make the van go forward, and i was well and truly stuck.
i managed to do my penguin walk up the driveway to the house, and wondered how i was supposed to get to work in the morning. i would have been satisfied to leave the stupid thing there til spring if i could, but i had to be practical.
i was scheduled to work at 7am - 7pm, and as it was a 12 hour shift, i obviously would not be able to take clay to school -- so my husband would need the car. i didn't want clay to miss his valentine's party. he had made his little valentine's bag, and i knew he'd be disappointed if he couldn't go.
well, i thought, at least i have aaa road service. i'll just have them tow me. no problem. right.
upon calling said roadside service, i was sadly informed that my membership had lapsed. well. that changes things. thankfully, i was a.) actually talking to a human being and not an automated service, and b.) that human being was actually very nice, because they helped me renew my membership (which was still cheaper than paying for a towing service out pocket), and promised me that help would be on the way shortly.
while i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, i cleaned the van out, because i had nothing else to do and it needed to be done. so i managed to accomplish something that night.
the towing service did come, and with a great deal of finesse, managed to get the car back onto the road. he did a fair bit of sliding on the ice himself, so i hope he got a bonus for having to come out at 1am.
i thanked him profusely, and he suggested that i buy some salt for the driveway. i finally got to bed at 2:30 am, and tried to sleep. i say tried, because right before i dozed off, i heard a pattering of tiny feet running across the dining room and then ethan came into our room and crawled into bed, crying and saying he was scared. he slept with us for a bit, but was restless and kept kicking in his sleep and moving around, so i put him back to bed. thankfully he stayed.
of course, i had to get up at 5:30, and got ready for work, then make the arctic trek down the driveway to the van. i managed to get it out of the driveway okay, and set off to work thinking happily that at least nothing had gone wrong this morning.
and.... just about that time, i ran out of gas. really?!!
i was probably a mile from the nearest exit, and it would be a long walk. thankfully, because of the van's history (the broken gas gauge and mileage indicator had stranded us before), we had taken to hauling a gas can around with us everywhere; so i was able to fill up with enough gas to get me to a gas station where i could fill up.
and after that, i stopped at mcdonald's and ordered a LARGE caramel mocha. i kinda figured i deserved it. besides, i needed the caffeine.
great.
so, after uttering a few choice words, i stepped out of the car and onto the skating rink that had taken over our driveway, flailing madly as i not to lose my balance. i had to walk like a penguin so that i could get up the ice, and finally made it to the van, where i attempted to move it.
the van moved, but not where i was intended for it to go; sliding further down the hill and landing halfway in the drive and halfway in the snow. when i attempted to full forward, the tires spun wildly and the car became even further wedged in the snow. right.
so, i got the brilliant idea that maybe i could turn my wheels and back up, and go back onto the drive. unfortunately, gravity prevailed, and as i was on an incline, this theory did not work. in fact, it failed spectacularly.
now, the back end of the van was hovering precariously over the ditch, and the driver's door was firmly held in place by a stupid shrub. no amount of coaxing (or pounding the steering wheel in frustration) could make the van go forward, and i was well and truly stuck.
i managed to do my penguin walk up the driveway to the house, and wondered how i was supposed to get to work in the morning. i would have been satisfied to leave the stupid thing there til spring if i could, but i had to be practical.
i was scheduled to work at 7am - 7pm, and as it was a 12 hour shift, i obviously would not be able to take clay to school -- so my husband would need the car. i didn't want clay to miss his valentine's party. he had made his little valentine's bag, and i knew he'd be disappointed if he couldn't go.
well, i thought, at least i have aaa road service. i'll just have them tow me. no problem. right.
upon calling said roadside service, i was sadly informed that my membership had lapsed. well. that changes things. thankfully, i was a.) actually talking to a human being and not an automated service, and b.) that human being was actually very nice, because they helped me renew my membership (which was still cheaper than paying for a towing service out pocket), and promised me that help would be on the way shortly.
while i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, i cleaned the van out, because i had nothing else to do and it needed to be done. so i managed to accomplish something that night.
the towing service did come, and with a great deal of finesse, managed to get the car back onto the road. he did a fair bit of sliding on the ice himself, so i hope he got a bonus for having to come out at 1am.
i thanked him profusely, and he suggested that i buy some salt for the driveway. i finally got to bed at 2:30 am, and tried to sleep. i say tried, because right before i dozed off, i heard a pattering of tiny feet running across the dining room and then ethan came into our room and crawled into bed, crying and saying he was scared. he slept with us for a bit, but was restless and kept kicking in his sleep and moving around, so i put him back to bed. thankfully he stayed.
of course, i had to get up at 5:30, and got ready for work, then make the arctic trek down the driveway to the van. i managed to get it out of the driveway okay, and set off to work thinking happily that at least nothing had gone wrong this morning.
and.... just about that time, i ran out of gas. really?!!
i was probably a mile from the nearest exit, and it would be a long walk. thankfully, because of the van's history (the broken gas gauge and mileage indicator had stranded us before), we had taken to hauling a gas can around with us everywhere; so i was able to fill up with enough gas to get me to a gas station where i could fill up.
and after that, i stopped at mcdonald's and ordered a LARGE caramel mocha. i kinda figured i deserved it. besides, i needed the caffeine.
great.
Monday, February 7, 2011
"i'm going to kick you in the eye!"
so clay was sick and i picked him up at the school office and he was not happy. as i was signing him out he said loudly -- to the principal of all people -- "I'm going to kick you in the eye! I don't LIKE that guy mommy!"
i was mortified and lectured him in the office, telling him that he shouldn't talk like that because it hurt people's feelings and scared them. "you don't want her to be scared of you, do you?" I asked gently, thinking he would be utterly repentant.
but no, he nodded his head and said "yes", in a frightened little defiant voice. not... quite the answer i wanted. my face aflame, i decided to drop it and discuss this in the privacy of our car -- away from said principal.
and after we got to the car, and i gave him another lecture on respect. then i asked him what he had been so upset about and he said, "MOM! that room is a STRANGER room!!"
"what on earth is a stranger room?" i wondered, then started to realize something: "were you scared because there were strangers in the room?"
"Yes!", he answered, still upset.
suddenly, the reason for his behavior was clear, and I tried not to laugh as i realized why he told the principal (whom he didn't know) that he was going to kick her; i had told him if any stranger ever tried to take him somewhere, he was to kick them as hard as he could and yell for help.
and... a stranger took him to the office. choking back my laughter, i gravely explained to him that if his teacher or mommy or daddy told him he could go with an adult he didn't know, it was OK. but not anyone else.
"so mommy," he asks. " if a stranger comes and takes me its okay for me to kick them in the eye?"
yup. definitely my child.
i was mortified and lectured him in the office, telling him that he shouldn't talk like that because it hurt people's feelings and scared them. "you don't want her to be scared of you, do you?" I asked gently, thinking he would be utterly repentant.
but no, he nodded his head and said "yes", in a frightened little defiant voice. not... quite the answer i wanted. my face aflame, i decided to drop it and discuss this in the privacy of our car -- away from said principal.
and after we got to the car, and i gave him another lecture on respect. then i asked him what he had been so upset about and he said, "MOM! that room is a STRANGER room!!"
"what on earth is a stranger room?" i wondered, then started to realize something: "were you scared because there were strangers in the room?"
"Yes!", he answered, still upset.
suddenly, the reason for his behavior was clear, and I tried not to laugh as i realized why he told the principal (whom he didn't know) that he was going to kick her; i had told him if any stranger ever tried to take him somewhere, he was to kick them as hard as he could and yell for help.
and... a stranger took him to the office. choking back my laughter, i gravely explained to him that if his teacher or mommy or daddy told him he could go with an adult he didn't know, it was OK. but not anyone else.
"so mommy," he asks. " if a stranger comes and takes me its okay for me to kick them in the eye?"
yup. definitely my child.
Friday, February 4, 2011
random
today, on our way to the mall, my five year old stepped outside onto the ice and immediately found himself lying on the ice, surprised and wondering how he had gotten there. the tears came, and in a burst of temper, he informed me that he hated the ice, and wished it would go away and never, ever come back.
a minute later, tears forgotten, he was chattering cheerfully in the car, informing me that we needed to make a snowman with all the snow before it melted. i was amused at his easy change of heart, but that's how kids are.
i'm inclined to agree with him on the ice part. currently, the van has no hopes whatsoever of reaching the summit of our rather steep driveway; and so it sits at at the bottom of our drive, no doubt giving the neighbors something to laugh at every time they drive by.
we currently are the proud owners of an aging mini van, something we bought (used) when i was still pregnant with clay. now, almost 6 years (and many more miles) later, it is nearing the end of its usefulness. the gas gauge is broken, and so is the odometer, which forces us to carry a can of gasoline in the back, in case we run out of gas, as there is no way to tell how full our tank is. the windshield wipers are also broken, which makes driving in the rain something akin to riding a bicycle in a hurricane wearing swimming goggles.
however, when it is dry outside, the van proves reliable, provided the gas tank is full. however, it could be worse. in the wal-mart parking lot the other day, i saw a van missing the glass in a window; in its place was blue tarp, held securely with duct tape.
you can get alot of things fixed with some tarp, duct tape and some old clothesline. my dad had an old car that lasted for years. when the bumper rusted off, my dad loyally refused to get a newer model; instead, he secured the old bumper on with some clothesline. not just any clothesline, either -- the old vintage radioactive green color clothesline that was visible from a mile away. by this stage in the game, the muffler had long since fallen off, and had not been replaced, so not only was the car an eyesore, it was about as loud as an airplane. nothing says "redneck" more than a bumper tied on by green clothesline. at least when dad finally did have to admit that his beloved car could drive no more, he took it to a junkyard for parts. i knew someone who had an old 70's gremlin parked in their yard for so long that a tree was growing up through its center. perhaps some day, when the tree has gotten large enough, it will gain the same cult status as the giant ball of string and other oddities seen in the midwest.
at any rate, one makes do with what one has. thankfully, our transportation does not yet require clothesline. and i'm okay with that.
a minute later, tears forgotten, he was chattering cheerfully in the car, informing me that we needed to make a snowman with all the snow before it melted. i was amused at his easy change of heart, but that's how kids are.
i'm inclined to agree with him on the ice part. currently, the van has no hopes whatsoever of reaching the summit of our rather steep driveway; and so it sits at at the bottom of our drive, no doubt giving the neighbors something to laugh at every time they drive by.
we currently are the proud owners of an aging mini van, something we bought (used) when i was still pregnant with clay. now, almost 6 years (and many more miles) later, it is nearing the end of its usefulness. the gas gauge is broken, and so is the odometer, which forces us to carry a can of gasoline in the back, in case we run out of gas, as there is no way to tell how full our tank is. the windshield wipers are also broken, which makes driving in the rain something akin to riding a bicycle in a hurricane wearing swimming goggles.
however, when it is dry outside, the van proves reliable, provided the gas tank is full. however, it could be worse. in the wal-mart parking lot the other day, i saw a van missing the glass in a window; in its place was blue tarp, held securely with duct tape.
you can get alot of things fixed with some tarp, duct tape and some old clothesline. my dad had an old car that lasted for years. when the bumper rusted off, my dad loyally refused to get a newer model; instead, he secured the old bumper on with some clothesline. not just any clothesline, either -- the old vintage radioactive green color clothesline that was visible from a mile away. by this stage in the game, the muffler had long since fallen off, and had not been replaced, so not only was the car an eyesore, it was about as loud as an airplane. nothing says "redneck" more than a bumper tied on by green clothesline. at least when dad finally did have to admit that his beloved car could drive no more, he took it to a junkyard for parts. i knew someone who had an old 70's gremlin parked in their yard for so long that a tree was growing up through its center. perhaps some day, when the tree has gotten large enough, it will gain the same cult status as the giant ball of string and other oddities seen in the midwest.
at any rate, one makes do with what one has. thankfully, our transportation does not yet require clothesline. and i'm okay with that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)